Become a Trillionaire Woodworker

guide to trillionaire woodworking

a guide to trillionaire woodworking

Disclaimer: This article is purely satirical and mostly silly and not meant to be taken seriously. It’s all in good fun, so please read with a grain of salt and enjoy a bit of fun at my expense and remember, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with just being just a billionaire woodworker ok.

Are you ready to discover GLZ Woodworking’s new guide to becoming a trillionaire?

Are you still struggling as a billionaire woodworker? If so, I’m so sorry to learn of your financial suffering but this article explores just how easy it can be for you to become a trillionaire in only 4,000 years.  

Although it might seem ‘too good to be true’ and probably just one of those get rich quick in a few thousand year programs, rest assure it’s not only that.

Yes folks, to some, the idea of quick wealth over only 4,000 years and the pursuit of becoming a trillionaire woodworker might just seem like a load of hogwash.

But before you switch websites, read this article to end to learn just how easy our new GLZWoodworking 4,000-year trillionaire wealth development program is.  

With a little dedication and the ability to live over 4,000 years of age, our new program can lead you to unimaginable woodworking wealth.   Once you’re a trillionaire you’ll be able to make lots of YouTube videos showing people how rich you are.

Oh yeh, please be sure to like and subscribe and smash that notification button to make sure you don’t miss out on anything.

The structured path to becoming a Trillionaire Woodworker

Without further delay, here is a woodworker’s satirical guide to avoid getting stuck as a billionaire.

Have you ever come across those countless online courses and YouTube videos that promise to make you a millionaire overnight? All you have to do is subscribe to their program, and voila! You’ll be rolling in dough and living the life of your dreams. Well, my friends, that’s nothing, let me introduce you to the GLZ Woodworking guide on becoming a trillionaire woodworker.

So here’s the deal. Back in April 2023 I wrote and article about becoming a billionaire woodworker and that article came about over a few too many lemon sherbets one Saturday afternoon. 

I was thinking wow, there’s just so many poor old woodworkers out there who’s net worth is still in the double digit millions and I was wondering how these poor people are going trying to update their car and private jet fleets each year with so little disposable cash.  

I was initially thinking the simple answer would be to just teach woodworkers how to build their net worth to around 800 Million but then that just didn’t seem to be enough in today’s world.   It’s hard to walk down the street these days without bumping into someone who’s got a net worth over 10 billion, so if we’re going to help woodworkers, then we really need to get them into a safe financial zone that will allow not to have to worry about getting financially left behind.

After all, there’s no guarantees that they will get a contract with NASA to build spacecraft or help them colonise planets, so we had to do something that didn’t rely on space money.

I knew that I would have to take things up a notch. Forget being a mere billionaire; why should woodworkers have to struggle on as little as 400 Billion bucks like some novice.   Let’s start talk about becoming a trillionaire woodworker. Yes, you heard that right; let’s talk Trillions and hopefully multiples thereof.

I understand what you’re thinking. How in the world is that even possible? Well, it’s really simple, my friends.   You only need to subscribe to our 4,000-year woodworker investment and financial development plan.

That’s right, only 4,000 years of dedication and hard work to avoid getting stuck as a struggling billionaire.   We’ll need some genetic and scientific progress to live to be more than 4,000 years old to enjoy it, but I’m sure the new woodworking AI tools being developed can help us figure that out by around 11 a.m. next Thursday.

Consider the possibilities! Your trillionaire woodworking skills will be passed down, refined, and perfected with each passing generation. Your descendants will carry on woodworking trillionaire legacy, creating masterpieces and purchasing countries that will make even the most seasoned but financially strapped millionaire and billionaire woodworkers envious. And as the world advances, so will your fortune. Multiple Trillions will be at your disposal!

Now, I must remind you once again that this whole concept is a hilarious take on the idea of getting rich through a magic course or overnight success. It’s not meant to be taken seriously. In fact, who even cares about being a billionaire or a trillionaire?

At the end of the day, what truly matters is finding happiness in the simple joys of life. Whether you’re a woodworker, a baker, or a semi-professional cat juggler, the key to fulfilment lies in doing what you love and embracing the journey.

So let’s all take a step back, have a good laugh, and remember that life is too short to obsess over wealth and material possessions. Instead, let’s focus on creating meaningful connections, pursuing our passions, and finding joy in the little things, like making something beautiful out of your favourite species of wood.  

And if, by some miraculous twist of fate, you do become a trillionaire woodworker in 4,000 years, well, I’ll be here, ready to write the next satirical guide on becoming a gazillionaire!

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